4)Never hold your cat like this ( this is the correct way to carry your cat)

 

 

Most cat owners have been doing it wrong for years — and they have absolutely no idea. You pick up your cat thinking you're giving them love, but the way you're holding them could be stressing them out, hurting them, or even setting you up for a nasty scratch. Today, we're going to fix that. We'll show you exactly what not to do, why it's harmful, and most importantly, the correct way to carry your cat so they feel safe, secure, and actually enjoy being held.

Scruffing — Why It's Not Okay Past Kittenhood

Scruffing is when you grab a cat by the loose skin on the back of their neck. You've probably seen it done and assumed it was fine — after all, mother cats carry their kittens this way, right? But here's the thing: mother cats only do this with tiny newborns, and even then, only for short distances. Once a kitten grows and gains weight, the mother stops completely. The reason is simple — the weight becomes too much for that small patch of skin to safely support. When adult cats are scruffed, their entire body weight pulls down on that skin, which is both painful and frightening for them.

When you scruff an adult cat, their body goes into a fear-based freeze response called tonic immobility. It looks like they've gone calm or limp, but what's actually happening is that your cat is in a state of shock. Their heart rate rises, their stress hormones spike, and internally, they are experiencing real fear. Vets used to use this technique during examinations, but modern veterinary science has moved well beyond it. Most reputable animal behaviorists and vets today classify scruffing as a harmful, outdated practice that should be avoided entirely.

Over time, scruffing can seriously damage the trust between you and your cat. Cats have long memories when it comes to negative experiences. If they associate being picked up with pain and fear, they'll start hiding when they see you coming, become aggressive when touched, or refuse to be held at all. No amount of love afterward undoes the memory of fear. So if scruffing is part of how you normally handle your cat, it's time to stop — permanently.

Holding by the Front Legs or Armpits

This is one of the most common ways people accidentally hurt their cats. It usually happens when someone lifts a cat quickly without thinking — they grab under the front legs and hoist the cat up, letting the entire lower half of the body just dangle freely in the air. From the human perspective, it might look harmless. From the cat's perspective, it's a terrifying and physically stressful experience. The full weight of the cat's abdomen and hindquarters is pulling downward with nothing to support it.

Holding a cat this way puts enormous strain on their shoulder joints, spine, and internal organs. For older cats or those with underlying conditions like arthritis or organ issues, this can be genuinely painful or even cause injury. Even in young, healthy cats, repeated exposure to this kind of handling teaches them that being picked up is an uncomfortable or scary event. You'll notice the signs pretty quickly — a cat who squirms violently, kicks with their back legs, or immediately tries to leap away the moment you lift them is telling you that how you're holding them doesn't feel good.

Think of it this way: imagine someone grabbed you under your armpits and lifted you off the ground without supporting your lower body. It would feel unstable, uncomfortable, and alarming — and that's exactly how your cat feels. 

Restraining Them Against Their Will

Cats are more independent than dogs and need their boundaries respected. If a cat struggles or shows signs like a twitching tail, flattened ears, wide eyes, or a tense body, it usually means they want to be put down. Ignoring these signals can lead to scratching or biting because the cat feels trapped.

The best approach is simple: let them go when they want to go. Respecting their signals builds trust over time, and a cat that feels free to leave is often the one that chooses to stay close on its own.

Holding Them Upside Down or on Their Back

Some cats may tolerate being held on their backs, and a few may even enjoy it. But for most cats, being turned upside down feels stressful and unsafe. A cat’s belly protects vital organs, so exposing it is naturally a very vulnerable position. Even indoor cats still carry those instincts.

When a cat rolls over and shows their belly, it often means they trust you — not necessarily that they want belly rubs or to be held that way. Holding them on their back removes their sense of control, which can feel frightening. Signs like stiff body posture, pushing away, or digging in their claws usually mean the cat is uncomfortable.

It’s also important to remember that “tolerating” something is not the same as enjoying it. Repeated stressful handling can slowly damage a cat’s comfort and trust. Unless your cat clearly appears relaxed and happy in that position, it’s usually best to hold them upright, with their feet supported and belly protected.

The Correct Way to Pick Up and Carry Your Cat

Now that we know what not to do, let's talk about what actually works. The foundation of correctly carrying a cat is full-body support. Before you even lift them, let them sniff your hand. Give them a moment to acknowledge your presence and feel comfortable. Never approach a cat from above or behind to pick them up — this mimics how a predator would strike and will immediately trigger a fear response. Come from the side, stay calm, and move slowly.

To lift them properly, slide one hand under their chest — just behind the front legs — to support their upper body weight. At the same time, place your other hand or forearm under their hindquarters to support the back half of their body. Then lift gently and bring them close to your body. This is the key part: your body itself becomes part of the support system. When a cat is pressed gently against your chest or cradled against your arm, they feel physically secure. They're not dangling, not twisted, not exposed — they're stable, and stability means safety.

Keep them at a comfortable height — not too high where a fall would be dangerous, and not so low that they feel like they might slip. Most cats prefer to be at chest height where they can see over your shoulder or rest their head against you. Some cats love being cradled in the crook of your arm like a baby; others prefer to drape over your shoulder. Pay attention to what your individual cat likes. Every cat is different, and learning your cat's preferences is part of building a strong bond.

 

Building a Cat Who Loves Being Held

If your cat currently hates being picked up, don't lose hope. It's very possible to rebuild that relationship and create positive associations with handling — it just takes patience and consistency. Start small. Instead of picking them up fully, simply practice placing your hands on their body in the lifting position, then removing them and giving a treat or praise. Repeat this many times over several sessions until your cat is completely relaxed with your hands being in those positions.

Next, progress to brief lifts — just a few inches off the ground for two or three seconds, then back down, then a reward. Gradually increase the height and duration over days and weeks, always ending on a positive note before your cat gets uncomfortable. This process, called desensitization and counter-conditioning, rewires your cat's association with being lifted from something scary to something that predicts good things. It works, but only if you respect the pace your individual cat sets.

 

And that's everything you need to know about how to correctly carry your cat — and what to stop doing immediately. It really comes down to one simple idea: support their whole body, respect their boundaries, and pay attention to what they're telling you. Do that consistently, and you'll have a cat that not only tolerates being held but actually comes to you for it.

If you found this video helpful, give it a thumbs up and share it with a fellow cat owner — because so many people are unknowingly stressing out their cats every single day and don't even realize it. Drop a comment below and tell us — what's your cat's favorite way to be held? We'd love to know. Subscribe if you haven't already, because we cover everything you need to know to be the best cat owner possible. We'll see you in the next one.